My Friends Interpretation of Homestuck
by Kayla-Peixis
Summary: My friend (who doesn't read Homestuck) just wrote this and wanted me to show this to all of you lovely people. Hope you enjoy 3:D.
1. What Happens at Red Lobster

WHAT HAPPENS AT RED LOBSTER: A HOMESTUCK STORY

Gamzee was on another murdering spree. He decided to take medications but the pharmisist was terrified by him walking into Rite AID and then he took some random pills he found in the back because all the pharmisists died of terror. So Gamzee went hive and Karkat was there and was eating pizza. Sausage, of course, because anybody who is obsessed with Homestuck would know he loves sausage pizza and also yells and cries at rom coms. So Gamzee got sober and then he took medication but then it turned out that all they did was make him grow knives out of his face and hands, like wolverine. Except for wolverine doesn't have knives growing out of his face. So anyways Gamzee was on his way to Red Lobster so then he got a seat at the place and then he ordered lobster but unfortuneatly before he got his food he _**accidently**_ murdered everyone in Red Lobster. So because all the waiter were dead, he never got food. So then he went to Red Robin, Mcdonalds, Hopjacks, Subway, Burger King, Wendy's, and even Costco but the same thing happened each time. When he got into line to wait for his food, he accidently murdered everyone with his face knives. So Gamzee was sad. And very depressed. I mean, sure, he loved to kill people, but he really wanted Faygo. Obviously Faygo didn't even exist, but he loved to murder people like I just said. Then Gamzee realized he forgot his arms at hive, which was quite ironic, because he had knives in his hands. So he went home and Karkat was STILL watching his rom coms. So he got bored and went to bed. However, everyone knows it is very difficult to sleep with knives in your face. So he said, "HAR HAR HAR I HATE FRICKING SLEEP! LETS GO MURDER INNOCENT BISTANDARDS!" so he did just that, and enjoyed it if I say so myself. So then he asked Tavros on a date and they went to Red lobster but Gamzee forgot he aciidently murdered everyone there, so that was really awkward. So then in all the silence, Tavros yelled "I AM SO SORRY! I'M CHEATING ON YOU WITH VRISKA!"

Then Gamzee sunk his face knives into his face.

So again, Gamzee went home sadly to poor little Karkat obsessed with rom coms. Gamzee sat on the couch. Karkat realized he was sober and then shush patted him. So of course they went to Red Lobster. Unfortunenatly, everyone was dead.

So they cried.

THE ENNNDDDDD


	2. What Happens at Costco

**What Happens at Costco: Another Homestuck Story**

One day Karkat went to Costco. He unfortunately got lost in the produce section. People started to stare at him because, well, he had FRICKING horns and gray skin- which just made him hate everybody more. Then suddenly, an hurricane hit Idaho, where Karkat was at Costco. If you wonder why hurricanes hit Idaho, just remember nothing follows the rules of logic. Ever. So for some reason, a gigantic cliff appeared in dairy section of Costco so he went over to the edge of it and of course Vriska pushed him off of it. Then Gamzee came and sunk his face knives into her face again.

Forgetting about what just happened, we go into Nepeta. I don't know much about Nepeta, so I'll make something up.

As Nepeta ate her muffin flavored pancakes while watching "Epic National Cat Show of Awesome" on re runs while juggling her cats as usual. She didn't really know what to do with her life. She usually just had the same routine, pancakes, cat show, juggling, murdering spree, donate to charity, spazz over Karkat and juggle her cats again. It was only today she decided to finally ask Karkat out to Red Lobster. So she went to Karkat's hive with Gamzee-(sober) to ask Karkat out. Sadly, Gamzee's face knives have not yet worn away. So she knocked on the door, and Karkat answered. Within 2 seconds, he saw her and slammed the door in her face. But then she yelled through the door "Fine, I'll Guess I'll go to Red Lobster without you!" And then Karkat came running out because obviously every troll loves Red Lobster, even when every employee is dead. So they ate at Denny's because Gamzee hates Denny's and never bothers to murder anyone there. So they happily ate chicken strips, even though they weren't at Red Lobster's. Then Tavros came in and demanded karaoke. So Kanaya sang Party in the USA and then watched Twilight so

Yeah.


End file.
